Christmas Eve

(Rodarte for Target Dress, Target Lace tights, Sam Edelman Booties, Mom's Vintage Rhinestone necklace, Mom's Vintage Snakeskin and Silk Gloves, Mom's Vintage Sequin Purse)


Unfortunately, I haven't had the change to get the Rodarte dress taken in yet, so I look a little bit like I'm wearing a mesh and lace sack.  It will be prettier when it fits nicely.  My little brother Max and I are celebrating being snowed in on christmas with a little homemade punch and fancy outfits.  My mom's dog Ella Bella decided to join us for a few photos also.  She is such a happy little dog. And my mother's house is beautifully decorated for the season, so it added a nice decor for our photos.

Merry Christmas Eve!
xo

Welcome to Mexico

(Target Leopard Print tights, Ella Moss black Slip Dress, H&M Purple Body con dress, Inbox Dolman Cardigan, Inbox Crystal necklace, Bamboo Shiny Stud Ballet Flats, Rings from quarter machine in little mexico aka El Portal)


Ha! I always love coming back to small town Iowa and dressing in lots of patterns, sparkles, and having fun.  People just don't know what to do.  Went to "Mexico" (as my younger siblings call it) a little mexican restaurant for tasty authentic mexican food and Margaritas for $1.99!  My sister Drew and I ordered margaritas and the little mexican waiter looked at us and asked in his soft spoken broken english "You want liquor in margarita?! I.D.s?" Sat around while my little brother tried to convince his high school friends that I was the new foreign exchange student from Sweden who just arrived for a half year.  My bleached eyebrows have been the topic of jokes among my siblings, I think they haven't been wanting to claim me :) haha....I love them either way.
Also, showing off my new $17 flats along with sister matching wrist tattoos that I designed years ago.  Still love our scribble hearts.
Merry Christmas Eve everyone!  I've been sitting at my moms house eating too many cookies, singing christmas songs at the top of my lungs and forcing my little brothers to help me gesso and sand giant boards to paint on.  It's snowing like crazy, expecting 12-16 inches...when there was already snow on the ground. Yikes! Love you all, and hope you're having as much fun with family as I am.
xo

Upcoming: My sister shot photos for a calender and she looks HOT! Little Drewbie in a bikini on a pool table. She's gonna kill me for sharing!

Christmas Shopping!

I know its christmas time, and I'm supposed to be buying presents for my loved ones. I swear I've been doing that too.  But sometimes I go crazy! And I buy lots of stuff for myself! Because really, a lot of super cool, super fun events are coming up right around the corner.  I'm having a graduation party, New Years Eve is coming up, my 25th (ahh!) birthday party is January 24(if you're reading this you should come), my roommates birthday is in February...I need lots of pretty dresses.  And I graduated college! I should buy myself presents and so should other people! So I caved, I bought two Rodarte for Target dresses...that are both too big and have to be altered.  Luckily those weren't too expensive and I love them.  And I bought some Aldo nude platform pumps that are so HOT! And my open back Alexander Wang T NYE dress came in the mail, but I'm not at my apartment to receive it. Sad. But happy. I love dresses. I love shoes. Yay!
Also, I'm buying myself a Canon SLR for my graduation present. I know, you're probably all confused because most of my pictures are taken on a fancy camera (I was borrowing it from the UI photo lab and had to return it).  So this is partially why I haven't been posting any outfit pictures because I don't have the camera anymore.  So soon, I'll be super back in action and ready to roll. I promise.  And I've been extra creative with my outfits lately because its cold and icy and snowy and I have to layer like a mad woman.  I need a warmer coat!
So Merry Christmas to all, I hope you're doing as well as I am and enjoying time with your families.  I have an awesome older brother, a super cool younger sister, and two younger brothers so its party, party when we're all together for the holidays.  Wahooo!
So over the holidays, I say...kick back, relax, wear lots of sparkles, red lipstick, and high heels! Oh and braid your hair, its pretty :) I know I will!
xo

p.s. I totally am cheating and I used a picture of me from a Holiday Party in 2007...shhhh, don't tell. I've been a bad blogger.

What I've been waiting for.

I have been MIA. Sorry about my absence.

(My mom and I at graduation)

But, I have finally graduated college.  Saturday I put on my cap and gown and sat through my undergraduate ceremony.  I now have my B.F.A. in Painting and Drawing. Whew.

I started my journey through college in August of 2003, right after high school graduation. It's been rough, and at times I didn't think I would make it to this day.  I took time off, dropped classes, left the country, got engaged, got my heart broken, worked too much, broke hearts, partied, made mistakes, pulled all nighters, and then...really started to love school in my last three semesters. So much that I put off one gen ed and kept taking courses because I had such a passion and commitment to creating new work in classes. But now here I am- DONE, and sad that it's over....so I registered for another advanced drawing class in the spring because let's face it, at this point I love school and I love my professors at Iowa!  And while I wait the anticipated letters of acceptance/rejection from  my list of well established grad schools, I will spend my time making more work...because I've never been so happy as I am when I'm making something out of nothing.

Hindsight is marvelous. My point in writing this is that sometimes you don't realize why things happen the way they do until after its over.  I couldn't understand why the man I loved since I was an adolescent  fourteen year old suddenly quit picking up the phone one day.  Why this made me go crazy.  Why giving up everything for him wasn't enough. Why one semester of school was too long for him to wait for me to move across the world to him...I know, I'm stretching pretty far here.

Truth be told, I wasn't thinking about myself.  I didn't have a good enough relationship with my myself to be able to make it work with someone else.  In building the most important relationship- the one with myself- I have finally found what it means to be happy.   And I don't need someone else to fill a "hole" because it doesn't have to be empty anymore.  I want bigger and better things, I have a drive to succeed. I want to be somebody. I believe I have the strength and abilities to be true to who I am.  I have wonderful friends and family to be there with me through the journey.  And this took lots of mistakes and learning to realize...and yes, I'm probably being extra corny. But darn it, if I wouldn't have stayed here and learned what I did in the past 2 years, I could still be trying to fill the "hole" with a man who didn't know how to.

I can't thank everyone enough for supporting me through thick and thin.

(A dark room photo I did back in 2006, when making art really started to be something more.)

Really, hindsight is marvelous.

More visual questioning...

On who we are before we are exposed to the ideals of beauty in western culture.

Free Cosmos for the vampires

More of Baby V's in the city

We had lots of photos from this fun filled evening :)

Vampires in the dark

(Storets T-shirt dress, Forever 21 Fur Vest, Aldo Shren Wedges, Vintage Triangle Backpack)

My little ladies (who happen to be sisters as well) Morgen and Kenzie joined me in a photoshoot in downtown Iowa City during the week of Thanksgiving break. The pictures have been on Kenzie's camera, so I have finally gotten around to getting them up. It was quite a fun filled night :)

An important piece to the puzzle

(oil on board)

Continuing to make paintings in order to keep my hand in check.

Deconstructing Oil painted images

(oil on board)

Not too fond of this one, but I painted it right before my show as well.

Untitled

(Oil on canvas stretched on board)

I finished this painting around 4 am the night before my show opened (my show opened at 8 am)....always working until the last minute! This painting proved to be difficult in that it is much larger than I usually work and it is strictly oil paint. I did a lot of sanding for texture and many, many light layers of oil. I'm currently starting two more larger paintings (lifesize and larger) to include in my grad school applications because I would like a variety of sizes. Its so stressful! I want so badly to get into a top school, so I'm continuing to work every day on painting and creating to be the best I can possibly be. Its interesting how noticeable my hand develops over time. I must say, I really love what I do and I strongly believe in what I'm doing.

Also I just wanted to thank all of my readers. I love your comments and please don't ever be shy to contact me with questions or comments. It tickles me and makes my day.

xo

Concepts...conception?

Photos I took immediately after doll like...I got all "dolled up" and then felt a pang of conscience in relation to my body of art. Beauty is so strange. Beauty is both wonderful and terrible. What are we before we become exposed to this idea of needing to look a certain way? Always thinking about how grotesque the idealized beauty can be. Why I chose to cover my bare face with vaseline and eyelids with baby powder? Open to your interpretation.

Adding to Doll Like

Doll like

(American Apparel Mesh Bodysuit, Vintage Heavy Layered Skirt, Lucky Mixed Charm Necklace, Jessica Simpson Platform Metallic Mary Janes)

Doing some photos for paintings, playing with lighting and make-up.

A big thanks to www.chictopia.com for featuring me on their main page! I'm so excited :)

xo